A CURSORY LOOK AT SOME OF THE CASUALTIES
At the risk of oversimplification, it seems to me that men will simply have to have what they say to women looked over by their lawyers before saying them.
Let me hasten to say that women have been on the wrong end of sexual deviancy by some men who simply do not know how to act and some who don’t care about acting right.
Even as we contemplate how to be better examples of ourselves it is important to ensure that we do not throw out the baby with the bath water.
It is nevertheless important that even with the glee of (#metoo) innocent lives are not destroyed by false accusations and fake equivalences to make up for past transgressions.
We have a real proclivity to tilting too far to the other side to compensate for past errors that we overturn the whole thing.
Over the last couple of years, many powerful men have been brought down on allegations of sexual abuse, sexual assaults, and even sexual harassment.
Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, are only a few to have been reduced to negative caricatures of their former selves.
Bill Cosby is serving a lengthy prison sentence for sexual assaults allegedly committed many years ago outside the statute of limitations.
The man who prosecuted him ran for the office solely on his desire to bring Bill Cosby down. So much for blind justice.
Now Cosby may very well be a monster who is deserving of where he finds himself but it is important to remember that the phalanx of over 50 women who made allegations about incidents of abuse spanned a wide swath of Cosby’s career, from Kristina Ruehli (1965) to Chloe Goins (2008).
Whether we are talking about allegations of improper conduct between grownups, or the sordid indefensible allegations against R Kelly the R&b artiste who is alleged to have had a decades-long affinity for sexually assaulting underage girls, or even a man making improper sexual comments to a co-worker, it is all viewed in the same light.
And therein lies the problem because what is happening now it seems, is an escalating fight and a growing chasm between the sexes, made worse daily by individual occurrences of misconduct which are processed as part of a larger conspiracy by the evil male[sic].
In the days since the lifetime docuseries “surviving R Kelly” aired in which music Journalist “Toure” appeared and condemned R Kelly for the allegations against him by a long list of teenage girls including one to which he was married, Toure is himself facing allegations of sexual harassment.
In the allegations, a woman identified only as “Dani” a makeup artist accused Touré of sexually harassing her when she worked with him on a Time Inc. show.
“He couldn’t stop asking me to do anal, how I looked naked, if I had sex over the weekend, what it would be like to fuck me …” Dani wrote in the comments. “I had to have the crew stay in the room with me while I got him ready.”
Nothing in these allegations can be condoned or supported. Simply put, men have to be better stewards of their sexual urges.
As men, we have to reassess how we respond to women and not do to them what we would not want anyone doing to our daughters, mothers, sisters, and friends.
As men, we also know that sexual harassment is hardly a male problem, but men look at sexual harassment and even sexual assaults in a purely different light.
For the most part, even when a man is a victim of unwanted sexual attention/assault, he generally wears it as a badge of honor. And so we do not have a correct representative sampling of data in which men are the victims.
Far too often we fail to process information properly. We have a predisposition to always having to compartmentalize the information to which we are exposed and place it into neat little boxes.
This type of desire to always label and tuck away information neatly in the recesses of our minds does not always lend itself to understanding the context in which things happen and the way we receive information today versus just two decades ago.
The loads of data to which we are now exposed as a result of social media and 24/7 cable news can sometimes make it seem like the sky is falling.
We get overwhelmed into thinking that everything we once held dear, has been uprooted and we are sliding into an abyss.
But is this kind of thinking really true?
I don’t think so. Fewer people are dying from wars, diseases, and crime overall, than say 50 years ago.
Many issues which were once dirty little secrets, pedophilia, sex-trafficking, sexual assaults, and sexual harassment are now out in the open.
Technology has brought everything into sharper focus and as a consequence what we may be dealing with is a little bit of information overload.
Excessive Internet and social media use can impact your mental health? While it’s a helpful tool for education, work, social interaction, and entertainment, overuse can take a toll on your health, says Saju Mathew, M.D., a primary care physician at Piedmont.
Reading too much negative news and too much computer time can increase your anxiety.
Is that causing this anxiety between the sexes?
Are the anxiety and anger justified at a time when women are appearing in larger numbers in the workforce and once covered up secrets are now out in the open?
Or is there a larger push to drive a wedge between the genders and our former way of life?
We are now being told that we should not refer to young children as girls and boys because they are too young to decide what they want to be.
Businesses are being required to provide separate ablution areas for trans people and marriage between same-sex couples is now the law of the land.
Does that play into the sense of anger around how the issues of sexual harassment and sexual assaults are viewed?
In the world of hyper-political correctness and gender equality, there are seemingly no longer any clearly defined boundaries.
Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the wife of newly minted California Governor Gavin Newsom has decided that in the name of gender equality she will not take on the title of “first lady” of California but instead will go with “first-partner.
“The work I do really parallels and complements Gavin’s work because it’s about awakening people’s consciousness, shifting hearts and minds, attitudes and behaviors,” Siebel Newsom said in a Los Angeles Times profile published in November.
The governor has been an advocate for gender issues, including women’s and LGBTQ rights.”https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jennifer-siebel-newsom-gavin-newson_us_5c375286e4b0c469d76b99a7
There should be zero tolerance for sexual assaults, sexual harassment or even sexual discrimination. Yet I wonder whether we are doing ourselves any favors when we lump sexual assaults and or harassment into the same category as a man telling a co-worker she looks great?
Because if we are, I sense that the workplace will become a place where neither gender will want to be.
A while back I wrote an article speaking to faith and the LGBT, (Queer and Trans community ). I argued then that as far as those communities are concerned, it was not just a matter of getting the straight community to see their community as equals.
There is a far more sinister motive behind their push . The idea seems to be designed to bend the straight community’s way of thinking and yes it’s about awakening people’s consciousness, shifting hearts and minds, attitudes and behaviors.
Not in the way you are thinking. Not toward equality and justice but toward subjugation and total fealty to their way of thinking.
Much of the #metoo movement is justifiable comeuppance for too many men who believe/d that women are disposable creatures created only for their pleasure and convenience.
Nevertheless, there is much lumping of individual cases designed to create the impression that men are on a sexual tear against women.
It is a strategy which is resulting in even more devastating consequences for men, many of whom are innocent.
People will use whatever weapons they have to inflict harm. Allegations of sexual misconduct have real and far-reaching consequences against those they are leveled against.
Unfortunately, some women are no more less inclined to using sexual allegations as a weapon against men than some men are inclined to abuse women.
The question then becomes ,who benefits from a discordant divide between the sexes?
If you ever raised your voice in objection to homosexuality, understand that you may very well be the potential target of an evil smear campaign.
If they cannot find something on which to discredit you they will find a way to dredge up something that sounds believable.
Over the years as the debate raged about the need for greater societal acceptance of homosexuality I argued that there was no societal refusal to accepting homosexuality/Lesbianism.
Potential employers were not in the business of asking whether one was gay or straight.
People lived their lives the way they chose to. It was the gay community which insisted that the way we looked at marriage across the globe was outdated, discriminatory and was like lava which needed to undergo a metamorphosis.
The way they see it is that we are living in a horrible patriarchal world which needs dismantling.
For some reason or other, some black women seem to think that feminism is their fight to wage, their hill to die on.
My question to them, including the black intellectuals who subscribe to the feminist ideology, is this, where is the feminist community as you struggle to understand why police just shot and killed your black son?
Lesbian black women seem to go to exceptional lengths to demonstrate that they have larger testicles than men.
They dress and try to look harder than the toughest thug on the streets and their hatred of men seem to take on a particularly insidious tinge.
The website ( everydayfeminism.com) while begging for money to stay on the internet , argues for 5 Reasons Our ‘Sons’ Need Feminism, Too.
*Boys can seem insulated from the harm done by the patriarchy, and that makes it easier to neglect sharing our feminism with our sons. After all, they have an advantage in this crappy patriarchal system. It seems like they’ll, more or less, be okay.
I’m a working-class mom struggling to make ends meet while bringing up a toddler, so I get how hard this stuff is.
I beg your pardon, I would wager that you were not a feminist before you had that toddler.
I would also wager that feminism was not a thought when you were deciding on the man with whom you made that toddler.
Now all of a sudden you are a rabid feminist because you are left to raise a kid on your own, most likely because of your crappy decision making?
The writer went on.
*The truth is, you don’t and can’t know the gender of a baby, or even most young toddlers. No matter how we parents feel about it, there is always a chance that our kids won’t turn out to identify with the genders assigned to them at birth.
I’m cisgender (meaning that I identify with the gender that was assigned to me at birth) but not everyone is, and there is no guarantee that any one particular child will be.
Any child born could turn out to be transgender, and you (and the kid) might not know right away! It’s also a reality that some children are born intersex and doctors may or may not notice this upon birth.
The fact is that when we say a newborn baby is a boy or a girl, what we’re really doing is predicting their gender, and while sometimes our predictions are right, they’re also sometimes very wrong.
And if your child turns out to be transgender, you also have no way of knowing when your child will know that about themselves and feel ready to talk to you about it.
Although you may find the foregone laughable, it is certainly not a parody. This is the kind of information which is dominating the internet and cable television, eventually shaping how people see themselves and others.
They are literally questioning even biological facts, by that standard, a baby boy is not a baby boy until the boy decides it wants to be a boy.
And oh by the way, an apple is not an apple unless the apple decides it is an apple.
If you sometimes wonder how come so many people in the Evangelical movement could move so far afield that they would support a candidate like Donald Trump a serial philanderer for President, you may have just happened upon some of those answers here.
That is not to say that Trump was a moral alternative to the dystopian realities we are being asked to embrace, but at least he believes fundamentally in the same things in which they believe.
He shares some of the broader ideas they share.
Even though he is inherently flawed, in their eyes he is not a revolutionary departure from the values they have held all their lives.
My college sophomore son jokingly used the term “Toxic masculinity” in a light family conversation recently.
We all laughed and jokingly chided him that college was turning him against men as the characterization (“toxic”) used in any context to define men was a pejorative label designed to create anger, mistrust, and even hatred of all things male.(https://femmagazine.com) explains “toxic masculinity”) this way.
Toxic masculinity enforces the societal ideology that males must attain control in relationships, the household, and in most public situations. This attitude promotes aversion towards expressing emotions that would be deemed as feminine for fear of emasculation. This is directly linked to the misogynistic mentality that male qualities are superior to feminine qualities.
So if a man ever believed in a social order in which he is the head of the household. And if he is supposed to lead in love, and provide for , and protect his family as God commands him to ,he is indulging in poisonous male behavior.
It is important to note that this philosophical position is a 180 degree divergence from the structures on which Christian societies are built.
If the new principles are antithetical and diametrically opposed to our foundational Christian principles, whose philosophical perspectives do they advance?